The Self-Made Myth Debunked


There’s no such thing as being self-made.

It’s a lie.

I mean on the most basic level, your parents made you…literally.

Whenever I hear someone say they’re self-made, I can’t help but think how ungrateful they are.

Who in their right mind would even make a statement like that? Or Why?

Life is a cumulative experience. Everything builds on the next. All things are connected. So it’s arrogant and dismissive to live like no one ever contributed to you being where you are today.

Show me someone who is self-made and I’ll show you a liar. (Click to tweet)

Let’s look at some of the greatest to ever do it in their respective professions.

Michael Jordan had Scottie Pippen. Steve Jobs had Steve Wozniak. Mike Tyson had Cus D’amato. Michael Jackson had Quincy Jones. Jay-Z had Jaz-O.

I could literally go on for days. My point is, nobody does anything alone.

I remember a few years ago I was having a hard time getting some things accomplished, personally and professionally.

For transparency sake, I struggle with requesting and accepting support from others. It really makes it 1000x harder to get things done.

I was stuck.

My coach at the time sat me down and said, “You can do anything but you can’t do everything by yourself.”

What I realized in that moment was I was the only thing holding me back. I was getting in my own way. I was blocking my blessings.

Truthfully, I’m getting much better but I’m still a work in progress.

What I can testify to is the fact that my success until this point has been connected to support and collaboration.

Collaboration is like a cheat code.

The problem is that most people need to be the man or the HBIC.

This desire to be famous or at the top of the food chain robs them of the real prize, fulfillment. And meaningful relationships.

It’s crazy.

Believing in the idea of self made is dangerous for two reasons.

Self-Made is Void of Gratitude

Gratitude is like fertilizer for success. It makes us more aware of things both large and small.

Remember, awareness breeds choice. Not being aware of your blessings, of the things that contribute to your success, is like being blind in a room full of gold.

It’s a good practice to pause daily identify all the things in your life you get to be grateful for.

Self-Made Prevents Collaboration

People don’t want to deal with arrogance.

Collaboration comes from the mutual relationships and shared interest. The self-made individual always needs to be elevated, destroying any chance of mutualism.

When you collaborate with others it forces you to humble yourself and put others first. It forces you to be a giver instead of a taker.

There’s also a compounding effect associated with collaboration. Each party brings resources to the table and creates something greater than what each could do individually.

The equation goes something like this: 2 + 2 = 5

This type of thinking might get you a “F” on a math test but an “A+” in the school of life.

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